Military life imposes unique demands on families that require exceptional courage, resilience, and sacrifice not only for the service members but also for their families. In honor of Military Family Appreciation Month, we would like to highlight one of IAI North America’s key employees, Michele Kuepfer.
Michele has been with IAI North America for five years. Her official title is Office Manager, but she is so much more to our team. Michele works in IAI North America’s finance department, helps with marketing initiatives, ensures events for the Innovation Center run smoothly, helps with human resources needs, and has been designated the “mom” of the office due to the compassionate way she engages with her coworkers and helps them navigate challenges in their professional and personal lives.
In support of military families worldwide, we asked Michele to discuss her time as a military wife.
Here is what she had to say:
Carolyn Joseph: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today. I wanted to start off by asking about your journey as a military spouse, about the challenges you faced, and what you learned from those challenges.
Michele Kuepfer: Being a military spouse for 15 years was a great honor for me. I have profound respect for our U.S. military and supporting my [now] ex-husband made me proud. Sometimes being alone and raising our [three] kids, one with special needs, with my military member across the world was challenging, but when I decided to marry a Marine, I knew what I was in store for. Being a military spouse gave me a great commitment to our country and the men and women who give up so much for others. I became more independent and found a greater calling in performing volunteer work.
Carolyn Joseph: What was it like being home alone with three children while your husband was deployed?
Michele Kuepfer: I want to say it was easy, but honestly it wasn’t. It seemed when my husband was deployed that is when everything went wrong. I experienced a miscarriage, broke my foot twice, lost a child in Sears, and had my car doors malfunction while driving. BUT it was not a horrible experience. My ex and I decided to give up some luxuries in life so I could stay home with our children. I got to watch them grow and become the people they are today. Our son with special needs was able to get specialized care because I was home to take him to multiple appointments a day. We became a well-oiled machine when he was deployed. We missed him greatly, and sometimes we cried, but we made it work for us.
Carolyn Joseph: It can be a drain on the families while their loved one is deployed or on training missions, especially if a child needs special attention. What coping strategies did you find most helpful during deployments or extended separations?
Michele Kuepfer: Having positive, supportive people around was how I coped during deployments or TAD’s. Knowing I had a village surrounding us, loving my kids and myself always made things easier.
Carolyn Joseph: How did military life impact your family dynamics and routines?
Michele Kuepfer: Being a military spouse taught me to be more independent, but also to ask for help from others when I needed it. I learned that family wasn’t always related to you but those who were going through the same challenges as you. I’ve always been a giving person, but I think that being a Marine spouse, I learned to give more and to listen better.
Carolyn Joseph: Having s support systems sounds critical to making military life work. How did you build and maintain support networks and systems in and out of the military community?
Michele Kuepfer: While a military spouse I volunteered with our commands, Relay For Life, and our church. Doing this helped me to create bonds with others in our community. I always felt like I had a home in each new duty station, and I have continued to do this back in the civilian world.
Carolyn Joseph: It sounds like you took a very active role in your community. How did you stay engaged with your community while balancing the demands of military life?
Michele Kuepfer: I volunteered a lot. It is something I was passionate about, and even became the civilian volunteer of the year for our command in Hawaii two years in a row.
Carolyn Joseph: It has been said that modern communication capabilities have changed the way deployed soldiers can communicate with their loved ones back home. How do you think access to video calls and other instant forms of global communication has changed how military families communicate?
Michele Kuepfer: This is easy. When I met my husband, we had to rely on letters mostly to communicate. I would occasionally get an email or a monthly phone call, but letters were how we communicated his first deployment. Fast forward to his last deployment and we talked almost daily and sometimes more than once a day. Technology has helped keep families more connected, but I do miss the days of letter writing.
Carolyn Joseph: How did you celebrate special occasions when your ex-husband was away?
Michele Kuepfer: We celebrated holidays and special occasions basically the same as when he was home. We did send him special boxes, and sometimes we celebrated twice (Once with him gone, and once when he got home).
Carolyn Joseph: Did you have any unique family traditions that help maintain a sense of normalcy?
Michele Kuepfer: My goal as a mom was to make sure my kids grew up knowing that their dad and I loved them, even when he was far away. So we conquered each day as it came, just like we would do in day to day life.
Carolyn Joseph: Are there specific resources or programs that have been particularly beneficial for you and your family?
Michele Kuepfer: As a Marine wife, I was involved with our Family Readiness team which provided great command support. The Exceptional Family Member Program was very beneficial in helping me with our special needs child. Of course, our church and the love and support they gave us.
Carolyn Joseph: You seemed to be very involved at every duty station you lived. What was your favorite duty station, and why?
Michele Kuepfer: This is hard. I can tell you something amazing from everywhere we have been. If I had to pick one, I would say Hawaii. We were lucky to spend 5 years there. I hiked almost daily, started running, formed great lifelong friendships, and re-found my faith. Hawaii was the perfect place for my children and I.
Carolyn Joseph: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me about your expansive experience as a Marine wife. As a final question, what advice would you give to someone who has just become or is about to become a military spouse?
Michele Kuepfer: Get involved, be patient, and be understanding. Most importantly, have your own identity.
